Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Overwhelmed... In A Good Way

The following is an email I received today from a friend. I have removed all identifying names and places, to protect the privacy of my friend, as I didn't ask her permission to post this.

Hey! I have been catching up on your blogs this morning, as I have been busy and haven't had a lot of time to do that lately. I just wanted to tell you how great I think you are. While reading, I laughed and cried, thinking of all the good and not always good times we have had. Our xxxxx discussion xxxxxxxxxx really helped me. I was reminded of how honest you are, not being afraid to tell people your story, even if it isn't always pretty. I also want perfection, feeling overwhelmed if I can't be perfect. I get myself in too deep, completely overwhelming myself, and then I give up. I admire your honesty and I love your beauty. I count you among my most genuine and real friends. You mean a lot to me and I wanted to tell you this. You're not perfect, neither am I, but together, we are some pretty bad bitches. Please know that you can count on me if you ever need anything. Take care of your beautiful face. Love you. - xxxxxxxx

In living a life, whereas in the past, I have been "chewed up and spit out" for trusting others with the real me, it is refreshing to know that someone not only benefitted from my honesty, but admires me for it as well. I have often left myself open and vulnerable, and consequently, my words and/or actions were twisted into something totally untrue. Thank you, my friend, for truly knowing me and still loving me. Thank you for taking my words as I meant them, not twisting them or hurting me with them. I feel like, at 34 years of age, I can finally let go (if only just a little bit) of the bullshit that's haunted me since my adolescence. Maybe, vulnerability and genuine, honest openness is actually a gift?

I have other blogs, still in "draft" mode, that I have yet to finish or publish, due to this fear of what others might think or say about them. Blogs, short stories and a novel, fiction and non-fiction, started but never shared because of this fear. Right now, I'm thinking "huh, maybe I could share those stories".

If you believe in somebody, if you love them or admire them, even just a little bit, tell them. It could mean the world to them. It could change them.

It overwhelmed me... In a good way.

oops!

Dang it! Hate when that happens!

Tom leaves town Sunday evening. Traveling for business. Kids are finally in bed asleep. Peace and quiet at last! I open a bottle of wine and pour myself a glass. I'm playing bejeweled on facebook. I am relaxed. I call my girlfriend to chat. Her kids are also asleep! Yeah! I tell her I'm having a glass of wine, and she decides to join me. So now we are chatting away, drinking wine...

An hour later...

We hang up the phone and I notice my bottle of wine is almost all gone! Hum, how did that happen? Oh, and I'm really missing my husband right now. Gee, I think right now, after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine, would be a really great time to write him a love letter... AND POST IT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, ON MY BLOG!!!!

Monday morning...

Oh shit! What the *$#@&* was I thinking? Oops! Hate when that happens...
It's too late to retract it. Maybe he won't see it? Wishful Thinking. Ugh!

Monday, February 8, 2010

I Love You, Tom

I love you Tom.
With all my heart and all my soul, I love you, Tom Brush.
Sometimes you piss me off... at times I feel neglected and ignored. But isn't that what a women does? We just "feel" and it is you, the man, who does the thinking. You are logical, and I am the emotional one. As mad as your logic makes me... as much as your methodical ways upset me, and that comment from the pastor resounds in my mind..."Does he know what love is? Is he capable of loving me?" I still know, in my heart, my life would not be complete, had I not met you. A thousand times, over and over again, it is you I would marry. I respect you. I look up to you. I admire you. Your smile is my inspiration. The way you get embarrassed when I tell you these things, makes me love you all the more. It makes me want to smother you in my warm thoughts, and fill you up with my emotion. With my love for you. When I clean the house, do your laundry, make your supper and help raise our children, I do it for you and I. Because I love you. I love our children, and our family, and the home you work so hard to provide for us. You are good and strong and big-hearted. I am not perfect. I have not always been the perfect wife and mother. But, I do love you. And, it is my love for you and our family that keeps me going. I am proud of you Tom. Proud to be your wife, and the mother of your children. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be the person I am. Your wife... your friend... your partner in life. I know, in my heart, God brought us together. You and I, we have this one life to live here on earth. Thank you baby, for choosing me, to live your life with. Happy (early) Valentines Day. I love you. I love you. I love you.
-Julie

Sunday, February 7, 2010

What's Your Motivation?

When I was working for the American Heart Association, (about 6 years ago) I was sent to Seattle Washington to give a presentation on recruitment. My job with the AHA was to raise money through the Jump Rope and Hoops for Heart Campaigns. Basically, this was a sales job. It was a "do-good" job as well, as the money was raised for a good cause, but I'm not gonna lie, you had to hit numbers (dollar goals set for your territory by your manager) or your ass was fired. So anyway, I was asked to do this speech because I was ranked number one in my division and number three in the nation for recruiting new schools to participate in the Jump and Hoops events. The team in Seattle? Their whole division was ranked in the bottom quarter of the nation.

I'm all honored and excited to give this speech/presentation, so I spend like two freaking weeks making charts, graphs and a slide show in preparation. I have details about what I did, what I said, where I went, when I went, who I talked to and why. I mean to tell you, the only thing I didn't have in my presentation was a list of all the clean, and therefore acceptable, places to stop for a bathroom break in Western Kansas. Seriously! I was super prepared for this event.

So I'm in Seattle, sitting in the hotel convention room. We are all sitting around these big round tables, and I am so thankful for the long tablecloth as I discreetly wipe my sweaty hands on this tablecloth, for like the hundredth time. They introduce me. The Seattle manager tells his "team members" of my accomplishments and I walk to the podium. I am seriously, physically shaking, as I turn to face 50 expectant faces. I start with the slide show, and begin to spew forth all this knowledge I have acquired through my experiences in the field. Not but 5 minutes into my presentation, an arm goes up. Question. "But Julie, what if you approached that PE teacher last year, and they said no, do you ask them again?" Umm, Yes. (I'm thinking...duh!) Another raised hand. "But what about if the principal said no to the event last year, and you know the same principal is at that school?" Well, you go there again, ask a lot of questions to find out what the objections are, and overcome the objections. "But, what if the principal won't make an appointment to meet with me? Or, what about if the principal or PE teacher won't return my phone calls?" Hum, I guess I don't make appointments or phone calls, I just show up and go the school's front office. They give me a pass, and I head over to the principal's office or the gym.

I keep getting these questions, which are really just excuses, to not do what we have all been taught to do. These people know basic sales techniques, or they wouldn't have been hired! I begin to feel like an asshole answering these questions. I look over at the "team manager" in shock. He just smiles at me, like he is encouraging me to continue on, answering questions and imparting knowledge on his team. Then it hits me. This division, this manager, these people are just comfortable with keeping the status quo. They all have excuses for why they can't do better. Why they can't get more school's signed on. This manager dude seriously just took these excuses from his team, as his excuse for failure to raise more money and hit goal.

I abandon my slide show and I ask this question. "Do you really want to sign on more schools?" They nod their heads. I begin to walk around the room. I'm pissed by the apparent lack of motivation. I am no longer nervous to give my presentation, I only feel an overwhelming desire to shake these people. I ask each table to tell me why they work for the American Heart Association. I get various answers but nothing with the passion I'm looking for. This is when I begin to get animated. As I continue walking the room I look at these people in their eyes. My voice a bit raised, I tell them, "You have to want to succeed!" "Everyday you have to think about why you do your job." "You have to know, failure is not an option." "You must relate what you do for a living, to actually saving lives." I briefly mention the research that leads to new medications, technology, education, healthier lives and prevention of heart disease. I tell them none of this can be done without the money we raise. I tell them, "You have to want this, like you want to save your own child's life. I dare any of you, to give me an excuse for not getting a new school signed on, knowing money raised from that event could help save your child's life. "

Dramatic and Over the Top? Maybe. But it worked.
These people didn't need to learn advanced sales techniques. They were not in need of better communication skills. What they needed was motivation. A drive to do what they need to. A reason to go beyond the comfort zone. Motivation to change and break from the "status quo".

Ask yourself this: Is there something in my life I'd like to change? Something I can do better? An area where I'm not living up to my potential, not giving it my all? I asked myself this question, and answered it with a big ass "Heck yeah!" Maybe your answer is yes as well?

Another question to ask yourself: Do I really want to change? Do I want it bad enough?

If you want it bad enough, if you want success... You need to be motivated and stay motivated.

So, What's Your Motivation?

Think about it everyday. Write it down. Keep your Motivation wrapped around you like a security blanket. And then, as Nike said it so simply, "Just Do It".