DRIVING TO CLASS:
I'm so excited to start working out again!
I wonder how hard it will be to start working out again?
I think I'll be ok.
I'll be tired, but I'm sure I'll be fine.
Like... Maybe I'll be sore, a little bit, tomorrow... but I'll be fine.
It's not like I am doing cardio, like Zumba, or anything like that.
It's just tighter assets class. No Zumba...
I might have to take more breaks than I did before.
Probably I won't be able to go as hard as usual for this first class back.
I can't wait to see Eva!
I better drink an Energy drink (emv lite) on my way to class.
Oh geez. When was the last time I drank water? 6 weeks ago?
I better chug this energy drink.
And, the water... I better chug some water real quick before I get there.
Wow! I'm like 15 minutes late a I found parking easily!
Must not be a lot of people at class tonight.
CLASS:
Holy crap! This class is huge!
Where did these people come from?
Seriously!
What... did you people all walk, (or RUN) to class? Where are your cars?
Maybe I can sneak in here and no one will...
never mind...
I wonder if Eva told them to clap after she says "Welcome Back, Julie!"
Leg lifts. Good. I can do this!
I can't believe my leg is hurting already.
So, this is the first exercise and only the second set (out of 4 sets) on the first leg, and it hurts already!?
Something is wrong with me I think... Why would my legs be shaking?
I have seriously been working out for like 4 minutes and my flipping legs are shaking!
Oh yeah, breathe. Can't forget to breathe.
I can't breathe. Out of breath. Need to take a break.
Why are my lips going numb? My fingers too. Lips and Fingers tingle.
Oh, that would be the lack of oxygen, because I can NOT catch my breath,
I am so out of shape. This is worse than the first time I ever worked out with her.
What was I thinking before? "No Cardio".... No Cardio, my ass.
I thought the cortisone shot in my foot was supposed to help with the pain.
My toe hurts. My foot hurts. Arthritis. Bone Spurs. Pain.
What about that shot? I got the cortisone shot. I thought it would make it less painful in my foot!
Still not breathing right. Still out of breath.
I'm dizzy. Kind of feeling nauseous.
Yep! I might puke. Crap. Should I go outside or bathroom? Outside is cold. That is better.
I'll be so embarrassed if I have to leave class and puke! Who does that!? Seriously!
OK Julie. It would be worse to puke on the floor in class, than to puke outside.
The cold air out here feels good.
Oh NO! here it comes!
Whew... that was just a little bit of energy drink. Not much. Ugh. Still feel puke-ish.
What did I eat for lunch?
Oh yeah... Nothing. Too busy to eat lunch. Maybe energy drink chugged on empty stomach is bad?
I better get back in there for the "cool down" and stretching.
Oops. Class is over. Missed the "cool down" and stretching.
Thank Goodness it's over.
Still Dizzy. Gotta get home.
IN THE CAR, DRIVING HOME:
What is wrong with me?
I'm so embarrassed!
Seriously!
Can I ever go back to class again?
I almost died in there.
What is wrong with me?
What was I thinking going back to class?
I can't believe it was that bad.
I'm so out of shape.
Can I really do this again?!
It's like starting ALL OVER again!
Do I want to start ALL over again?
Do I laugh or cry?
I can't cry.
What an idiot.
I can't believe I didn't eat lunch today.
Maybe it's better that way? Would have puked for sure if I had eaten. Maybe?
What is wrong with me!?
Who does that?! Who goes to class, gets that out of breath, gets that dizzy, and almost pukes?
Oh yeah.... Me.
I need to eat a healthy dinner, and go to bed. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow?
I should write. Haven't done that in forever either.
9:30 PM
Feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know if I can do it.
Don't know if I got it in me to commit to that struggle again.
And then:
I remember that I am lucky. I remember I should be thankful to have a fairly healthy, well functioning body. Thankful that I still have a choice.
Go to bed, Julie.
Tomorrow is a new day. Try again. Start Over.
Pull your head out of your butt, and try again tomorrow.
I failed tonight. But I succeeded too. I succeeded because I went to class, and I tried.
I will try again.
Success is my only option.
Think Positive. Stay Positive. Be Positive.
Love the Life you Live.
Seriously!
Thanks for reading my blog,
Julie Brush
Just saw you are blogging again, or were. This really is what most of us would be doing or thinking if we had the nerve to go try to get in some shape. Don't feel bad.
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